how to set your boundaries unapologetically

For many, setting boundaries and saying no can be as tough as crafting a chair from scratch. The feeling of guilt is the most prominent when the need to deny something arises. The roots of this draining characteristic are embedded deep in the subtle unconscious actions that have settled in some old memories. Yes, it can be scary trying to take up space and set a limit for people, but it is a healthy practice. People can take advantage of this trait and ask you for the impossible. It is important to let them know that there is a limit to which you will understand them.

Here are some ways you can set boundaries unapologetically.

Transform your mindset for the better.

Believe in your self-worth and have the courage to take steps for what you hold true. Let go of the guilt to say no and change your opinion of yourself. Once you understand your own value and find it in you to respect yourself and your beliefs, your self-perception will change and grow for the better. It will help you set boundaries for what behavior you can accept and cannot accept.

Proper communication.

It can be hard to set boundaries with difficult people but with firm words and clear phrases you can tell them what makes you uncomfortable. There will be people you do not like for a particular trait. It is through the appropriate expression of what you feel, that will help improve others’ behavior towards you. When people understand you, they will see where you come from with your choices and know how to treat you.

no means no

Emphasize your boundaries.

Make sure you hold people accountable for their unjust actions towards you. If they cross boundaries, let them know. Don’t be manipulated by them to agree to their terms. Stand firm and voice your opinions and let them know your boundaries. It will be challenging for others, but it is a step towards being your own person.

Carrots and stick approach.

People love appreciation. Similar to how you teach a child what is good by giving them kisses and bad, by expressing your disappointment, rewarding people when they respect your boundaries is the way to reinforce how important it is for you. Rewards can change behaviours. Using the all-pervasive carrots and stick approach can be the way to remind them of the boundaries set.

Elastic boundaries.

It’s important to understand when it is okay to relax your boundaries a little and when not. Situations help you identify the correct way to go. Empathy plays a part here. When the feeling of empathy takes over, make sure not to let it make you forget your boundaries completely. Timing is the key.

love yourself


It will take a while for people to accept your boundaries. Be persistent in the pursuit of self-respect. Don’t let time waver you in your efforts to change rude behaviors. People should respect each other’s space and limits, and there is nothing wrong with your demanding it from others around you. Practising patience with yourself to properly set boundaries will also help keep stress away. Patience will teach them and you the lesson of thoroughly thinking things through. Meditation and exercise is one way to sharpen this ability.


Studies show people are more confident when they rehearse what they say beforehand. Practicing what to say when someone is overstepping your boundaries is one way to effectively ask them to reconsider their attitude towards you. Letting people know your thoughts with precise words that clearly express your opinion is made perfect through practice.

young female saying no

It will take time for you and your people to adjust to the new boundaries you set but once done, you will see how good they are for you. It will weed out people who don’t understand how important this is for you. Surrounding yourself with people who want to understand you and are capable of respecting your choices help you gain insight into yourself and improve your life. Self-respect and self-love come first, before anything else. Set those boundaries and never let anyone treat you unjustly.

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