One to One Coaching

We have all been surrounded by books and teaching since a very young age. The word “coaching” doesn’t come as a new concept to us. Whenever we needed help with some subjects we were not good at studying, we would turn to our safety net- our tuition teachers and parents. But as we grow old, we come to realize the real meaning of coaching, and how important it can be when the attention of a coach is solely on you and your problems. One to one coaching has the potential to take you on a journey that will change your perception of the world.

It is a practice where you meet a coach who advises you and guides you to be a better version of yourself. Their goal is the fulfillment of your goals. It doesn’t have to be a professional coach who can help you. In a workplace setting, it can be your superior giving you secrets for working better or you helping your colleague with something they find difficult to do. But when you want to learn a skill in-depth, only a professional coach can help you better. Good leaders and team players know the team works better when learning is included.

Several benefits come to play when coaching can be integrated as a part of the team or when you go to a coach personally to learn. Some of them are mentioned below.

Better relationships.

Relationship coaching can bring about the change you need in your relationship. Learn how to deal with conflicts and communication gaps. Coaching is not only for one person but for both. After all, both should put efforts to keep the relationship afloat. You will see the positive changes in the dynamic when you follow the proper advice of a professional coach.

More confidence.

Once you have been guided and shown the right direction to head into, you will feel confidence surge in your being. Coaches push you on a path that is perfect for your growth. You trust them so you trust what they have to say as well. This is why you feel more confident with your actions when you start visiting a coach- a specialist in the field.

Satisfaction.

Once you feel the change in yourself, a change that is good for you, you will realize satisfaction in mind. Peace will take over, boosting your self-confidence and self-image. When you have the help of the industry’s best, after their advice takes force, you will find the peace of mind you had been searching for.

Achieving goals

You visit a coach and learn from them because you want to be better at something. Once you dedicate yourself to bringing out the good change in you, there will be clarity of thought and that facilitates your achieving goals. Practice makes perfect. Keep the dedication up and learn from your coach’s advice. This will help you smash your goals whenever you want to achieve something.

Don’t you think if you start achieving the goals you have set for yourself, you will feel better and more at peace with yourself? The feeling of satisfaction will overtake your mind when you stick to what your coach says and dedicate yourself to being better at something. After all, coaches are coaches for a reason.

There are many advantages of being coached on a one-to-one basis, we have mentioned only some. Everyone wants to get better at something, and being given the proper attention might just be the key that you need to ace that skill. Everyone works differently. Coaches understand that. So, when you learn on a one-to-one basis, coaches will find out which teaching method works the best for you and take you to the next step accordingly.

Best to be learned by proper attention than to have wasted money learning nothing. Learn better with Coach Sunitaa.

Also read,

What is Divine Feminine? 9 ways you can connect with it.

Have you ever felt a little tingling telling you not to do something, almost even telling you the right choice? You realize how right you were listening to that warning only later. It’s like a premonition. Well, that has to do with your connection with your divine feminine part. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, there are always 2 parts of the divine that exist in you.

The divine feminine is a spiritual concept embodying the healer and the compassionate. It is the female counterpart to male ones in the organized religions. It helps you connect with your inner self and understand your environment in a way that brings you the good sense of doing things at a proper time.

Here are ways you can connect with your divine feminine.

Power of the pause.

Allowing yourself a moment of rest gives you clarity of thought and peace. Take a breather and sort things out in your head. meditation can help here. Journaling, making a checklist, and indulging yourself in art and music assist in thinking clearly. Reclaim that rest period.

Embrace sensuality.

All about sensory pleasures, accepting sensuality is getting in touch with the “feeling side of things”. Listening to the tunes you like, eating food that appeals to you, watching movies that leave a mark, surrounding yourself with comfortable fabrics, living in a calm environment are just some ways you can embrace sensuality. Let yourself indulge in the things you like, and see how it opens up your mind to the bliss of a better living.

flower denoting sensuality

Journal it!

Reflecting and understanding yourself is a part of getting in touch with your feminine energy. Looking within can give you the clarity you need. Writing down what you think about a situation can help you much more than just thinking about it. It is a proven method of solving a lot of knots in your head about different circumstances. Journaling will also help you keep track of what you have been doing, whether it is leaning towards self-care or self-destruction.

journal

Self-love and acceptance.

Practicing self-love is the ultimate way to connect with the divine in you. Accept and love yourself as you are and not as you should be. It is easy for us to be hard on ourselves. The expectations we set for ourselves are usually higher than what we set for others. Learn to appreciate yourself, accept yourself, and let go of the unrealistic demands from yourself. It is not bad to take care of oneself. You earn that much by helping others out.

Me-time is important.

Prioritize saving time for self-reflection every day to do whatever you wish. Spending time with yourself is always insightful. Learn to be with yourself more and find out what you like and dislike. You live with yourself forever; taking care to understand yourself is nothing wrong, on the contrary, exactly what is needed.

Get that intuition.

Going within for answers instead of the outside can give you insights and help you get in touch with your feminine energy. Intuitions are rarely wrong. It is just your body that calculates and gives you a probable happening. Do not distrust that gut feeling. Listen to what your heart tells you. Let it guide you.

intuition

Think before you act.

Go within and understand what your soul tells you before you dive into action and chase the bull. You will find better solutions. There are different ways to handle various circumstances. It is always better to give a response to something rather than a reaction.

Dreams and the inner world.

Interpreting analogies in your dreams can help you connect with your inner world and, in turn, with feminine divinity. There have been studies suggesting dreams to be hidden memories that are locked in our unconscious brain. Interpreting them might or might not give us answers, but it will certainly help you know what’s bugging you on the inside and what has left a mark.

dream catcher

Connecting with the femininity within yourself will help you accept yourself the way you are and understand yourself better. It is a step towards the life-long path towards self-actualization.

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Parenting Essentials: What is the ultimate list?

There are various parenting styles you can adopt to raise your child in a way that is the best for them. Parents don’t want their children and their futures to be unhappy. Everything that shapes them into good human who is successful and lives a comfortable life starts at the base that parents set. After all, a child is always around their parent, mimicking what they do- a primary source of learning life skills.

The way we raise our kids affects them even after they have grown into adults. Parenting is important. Be a better parent with mindful parenting.

Mindful parenting is the thoughtful response to your child’s actions and behaviors instead of simple reactions. It helps them develop better personality traits that work to grow them in the right direction than otherwise.

Here is how you can practice mindful parenting.

Have an unassuming attitude.

Your attitude towards your children should be non-judgmental, compassionate, and accepting. You birthed them into being and have loved them even before they were born. Accepting them with their strange and unique traits is the least you can do as their parent. Do not assume something from their actions- some kids do not know how to express themselves properly. Their intentions might be good but actions might not be properly thought out, leading to mistakes and misunderstandings. Understand them and guide them to express themselves properly.

Self-regulation.

Do not let yourself give out reactions powered by impulsive emotions. Instead, calmly giving a response is the way to go. Let your kids know that thinking before you give a reaction is a good way to process the reactions advantages and disadvantages. This thinking before actions will help them better understand empathy and increase their emotional quotient.

Compassion

Try to understand your child’s behavior with empathy. Try to see where they are coming from and why they are acting this way. Listening to their problems is giving them a space to state what they like and don’t. It helps them understand themselves and others better. Compassion and care are the main principles of dealing with children who are only learning the ways of the world.

Listening

Listen to your children with full attention to hear what they have to say. Being distracted while talking to them shows disinterest in their talks, resulting in unresolved issues, the inability to express their feelings and troubles, and more. Listening to hear what your child has to say has effects that you cannot imagine. Guiding them through understanding is the way to go.

Lessens aggression

When children know that they will be heard better when they show composure, there will be lesser tendencies to be aggressive. Your kids will want your attention- either in a good way or bad. Once they know that you will not give them a reaction when they do something wrong to get your attention, they will understand that only the right actions will get you to show them love and compassion. This is what they will learn to do. Let your child understand this. Ignore such actions until they come to you and ask you to see something they have done which is good.

Meditation.

Stuck in a crisis moment? Take a breather by meditating. Let things clear themselves in your mind as you do so. There will be clarity after. Having extremely active children can take a toll on your mental and physical health. It is a good idea to sit down and take some time off everything to meditate. This will help you be better with responses, thinking things clearly, and even show your kids what to do when you are stressed. Let them understand the importance of me-time, and as they grow, they will even grasp the concept of meditation better.

There will be times when you think your child is out of control but dealing with them with compassion, care, and patience is the key. Do not forget your role as a parent whenever anger presents in you. It is not a bad thing to scold your children when they do something out of line but learn how to deal with it when they do. Mindful parenting is all about that. Be mindful of words, actions, and behavior for the healthy development of your child.

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The Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness- Ho’oponopono

People often struggle on the path of forgiveness, whether for themselves or others. Maybe it is easier to forgive others for their little wrongs, but it is tougher to forgive ourselves. Everyone knows this somewhere in their minds, but Hawaiians found a solution for it. Dr Ihaleakala Hew Len, a Hawaiian therapist, cured an entire ward of criminally insane patients without even seeing them with an applied theory of the ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness called Ho’oponopono.

Ho’oponopono (pronounced HO-oh-Po-no-Po-no) is a Hawaiian word that roughly translates to correction or set right. It is a zen concept. “Pono”, in native Hawaiian, means balance, in the sense of life. It assumes that when things are in balance, nothing is off, so to speak.

Chanting the Ho’oponopono prayer is a way to cleanse your mind of guilt, shame, ill will, and feelings that keep the mind in the loop of negative thinking. It is a resonant way of getting out of this loop, in time penetrating our inner monologue.

Give it a try yourself!

Repeat out loud or in your mind these words- 

I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you.

As you do this, close your eyes and sit with your legs crossed in the most peaceful and quiet part of your house or room- almost like how we meditate.

Repeating these few words, which seem so general, hold more power than you would think. These little words are what make up a relation. “Thank you for being with me”, “I’m sorry I did something that hurt you”- “I love you and wish to never part from you from this day on”, are just some phrases that everyone wants to hear (and listen to on repeat because who doesn’t like Pride and Prejudice 2005 dialogues over and over). 

This prayer, when practiced enough every day, can have a psychological effect on your mind. What we say affects us. Positive thinking will eventually take over your mind once you keep repeating it with dedication. It helps build self-confidence and self-respect as you forgive yourself. Showing some mercy to yourself is not as bad as you think. In a way, it is a way to a guaranteed insight into the art of forgiving yourself and others.

Part of the reason why this prayer works is that you need to acknowledge your mistakes and apologize first. It is a universal need to have others acknowledge our feelings and emotions. Ho’oponopono is a way to acknowledge the wrongdoings, realize that they exist, and apologize for them. Then, you accept yourself with your flaws with “Thank you, I love you.” It is a step towards self-love and understanding yourself better.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that forgiveness is equal to total absolution of their wrongdoings. It can be peaceful for some time, but ultimately the theory is futile for them as it ignores the feelings that were hurting because of the troubles caused. True forgiveness is making space for feelings of guilt and shame. You can be forgiven, but you cannot go on thinking that nothing like that ever happened. It is a part of yourself and you should learn from them as you ask for forgiveness.

Only by forgiving, moving on from it, can you help yourself get rid of such feelings that cause you mental unrest. Ho’oponopono is a way to tackle the past doings of your life and lead it with dignity as you learn from your mistakes.

Emotional Freedom Techniques

There have been times where we feel our thoughts are too much to handle. The overthinking, the anger, the toxic cycle of revisiting old memories that only hurt… this is a sign you need to get out and get help.

The introduction of a technique in the early 1990s is found effective to help patients get out of that funk. It is known as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). To help decrease stress and anxiety levels in people, this technique is put to use. It is the management of emotional and troubling thoughts, a form of counseling that stimulates acupressure points to release stress.

EFT process starts by stating what the problem feeling is accepting and acknowledging the problem. It is a way of speaking out loud that you want to accept your flaws. Though it might not seem to change anything now, to realize this statement and actually accept this “flawed” part of yours is one way to come to love yourself and leave the toxic behaviors behind.

EFT is a way of clearing out feelings. Though it might take time, once these feelings are cleared, you will find it in yourself to start understanding yourself and others better. The limiting beliefs you held so close will vanish and make way for open-mindedness. A positive attitude for yourself will emerge, leading to a better self-image and higher self-respect. Self-confidence will open ways for grander opportunities, inviting you to a better way of life. EFT empowers people to take charge of their emotions.

This technique is based on the theory that imbalances in energy flows lead to bad health. Also known as tapping or psychological acupressure, EFT uses the stimulation of energy points to drive away anxiety and pain. By tapping the supposed paths where “life energy” flows in the body, this technique intends to release blockages for a balanced energy flow to maintain good health. 

EFT follows a tapping sequence. Each side of the body reflects the 12 meridians that correspond to a particular internal organ. It mainly focuses on the following 9 out of 12.

  1. Karate Chop (KC)- the small intestine meridian
  2. Eyebrow (EB)- the bladder meridian
  3. Top Of The Head (TOH)- the governing vessel
  4. Side of the eye (SE)- the gallbladder meridian
  5. Chin (CH)- the central vessel
  6. Under the eye (UE)- the stomach meridian
  7. The beginning of the collarbone (CB)- the kidney meridian
  8. Under the Nose (UN)- the governing vessel
  9. Under the Arm (UA)- the spleen meridian

To perform this, tap each meridian point while repeating a reminder phrase. You start by tapping the top of the head (TOH), move down to the eyebrow, eye, chin parts, and so on. The phrase can be as simple as “This sore muscle”.

No technique can be recommended without some long-lasting advantages to it. There are numerous benefits of using the Emotional Freedom Technique to get better control over emotions. Below are just some of the perks that come with performing this technique.

  1. The simple and painless process of tapping the identified meridians and repeating phrases,
  2. Inexpensive treatment as it does not involve any machinery or therapists,
  3. It is effortlessly easy to learn this technique and even teach it to others,
  4. There is no need of professionals by the performer to use this technique,
  5. The phrases can be altered to suit what hurts you most at the given time,
  6. It gives power to the performer to heal themselves in one of the easiest ways,
  7. It drastically reduces stress and feelings of anxiety that might be built up in the performer,
  8. It fills the user with feelings of hope and positivity about the future and themselves,
  9. It helps remove doubts about things from the minds of the performers,
  10. It pushes the user to believe in themselves more.

Emotional Freedom Techniques are not as famous as other processes might be, but there is no harm in trying your hand at this to elevate yourself from the feelings that burden you. 

Try the life-changing session of EFT with the amazing coach Sunitaa now.

Feminine Leadership: The feminine urge to be the Right Leader

Today, different leadership styles are used by companies and managers alike to bring out the best of employees at work. First came the authoritarian leadership style where a “leader” turns into a “boss”. As time went by, a realization hit the managers that may be using a different style can help boost the efficiency of workers. And thus came different styles of leadership we see in companies, big or small.

Only when people looked into it properly, did they find which one was better than the other. Delegative style, transactional, participative- you name it. Lots have been found interesting, researched upon, and concluded to be effective in comparison to other styles already out there. These days, a new wave of leadership is on the rise called- feminine leadership.

Feminine leadership is a style of management adopted by all genders, to bring about a change in work culture. It emphasizes on the usage of empathy, humility, and relationship dynamics in the workplace. The result is a more thought-out decision-making process than an impulsive one.

The flexibility and the humane element that is brought about by this leadership style is more in tune with a company’s work culture and the needs of its employees. It makes for a better working environment for its workers and helps bring industrial harmony.

Here are some leadership lessons we can learn from feminine leadership.

Lean in only when there is a need.

Women in leadership positions are often told to lean into assertiveness, dominance, and boldness. If leaders were all about this, we would not have good leaders who know their way to a perfect solution for any problems that may arise. There has never been a strong correlation between leaning into such traits and being good at something. We only promote people to authoritative positions when we know they have the right qualities to handle the responsibilities that come with such a role. When you consider that, dominance and assertiveness are not the qualities you must have. 

Confidence.

There are a lot of self-help books that portray women as insecure beings, studies show that they can be confident in the “normal range”. Women have shown time and time again that they can be as confident in their abilities as they need to be. There is a lot of self-evaluation that goes on which keeps them humble. It enables them to see the gaps between where they are and where they want to be. This evaluation gets clouded when there is over-confidence. A little bit of critical thinking never hurt the preparation of events. You will always be prepared for any sudden happening.

Transformational.

Studies show that women tend to lead people by inspiring and motivating them- transforming people’s thoughts and beliefs. Their leadership style includes a balanced mixture of EQ and IQ elements that are linked with higher performance, engagement and productivity. Here, aligning people with meaning and purpose does the trick for quality output.

Team before me.

It is the job of a leader to support people from behind than to walk in front of them. Leaders help in the development of their team members. It can be a tough job to build a group that is high performing and brings in the desired results but with the ‘you before me’ attitude, there will be a change in the culture. Competition is good but in limit. Feminine leadership tends to use this mantra to bring in better results.

Commanding is old news.

Empathize with your team members. Commanding them to do their tasks without taking in their input is a mistake. This leads to employee dissatisfaction. Everyone likes growth. Give your team some space, let them come up with good ideas. Appreciation, kindness, encouragement, and validation is the basic requirement of employees. Make a connection with your team and see the connection it builds with the audience for you. This is the feminine style of leadership.

Leadership styles change with every organization. The better you are with your employees, the better will be the result. Learn to be more accommodating. This is the style of feminine leadership.

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Couple Communication: Is There A Gap?

Is there a gap in communication in your relationship? Unable to get your emotions across? Couples can have a hard time communicating their feelings and thoughts when there is confusion in the approach to the topic with the partner. There have been misunderstandings and conflicts because of the lack of clarity about what offended you or your partner.

The first lesson is to understand which approach to the topic of conflict with your partner would work the best. Some understand the problem when said clearly in one sentence, some can find it hard to grasp the problem even after an elaborate explanation. You set the base here.

There will be gaps even after you build a base that helps you address the issues. Communication is nevertheless the key to successful relationships.

Learn to fill those gaps with these simple tips!

A soft start.

Your communication may not affect with full power if your partner is not in the mood. Remember to ask if it is a good time to talk to them. Talk to them about your issue in a calm manner. No one will understand what you are saying if you get aggressive first. You need a proper response, and not a reaction, from your partner over the topic you want to discuss.

An alarm clock with  pink orchids growing on it against a pale blue wall

Create a safe space.

When you are comfortable, you can speak your mind no holds bar. Ask your partner to sit next to you on a comfy sofa, or where they would be most comfortable physically. Environment affects our moods. The easier they feel, the more you can get out of the conversation.

Growth.

When partners listen to each other, reflect on what is said, and change their behaviors for the better, there is a growth of understanding. Work like a well-oiled team when you grow together to be the best versions of yourselves with the person you love. Respect for space and their boundaries is essential for the relationship not to turn toxic. Listen to hear and not to speak.

Scrabble coins spelling out GROWTH with a daisy on the side

Tone and infliction.

Being mean and snarky, rude and disrespectful even during arguments can leave a mark in the relation. Bring your best to every conversation. Talking mildly does the trick. There will be no arguments if there is no disrespect. Shouting and screaming will not get your ideas through to them. Go into the conversation with patience, empathy, and clarity. You will find these elements the best for having any communication.

Overthinking and jumping to conclusions.

Jumping to conclusions and overthinking scenarios can damage your trust in the relationship and hinder proper communication. Try to talk to your partner before jumping to conclusions. Let them know what hurt you and give them a chance to offer clarity to the situation. Remember to let them complete the sentences before you stop them in the middle. You never know what comes out of their mouth next.

Couple communication means you tell them what you feel.

It can be tough to voice your emotions, but it is a direct way to let someone know what makes you uncomfortable and what doesn’t. Be clear and precise. First, understand the problem properly yourself, then clearly state it in simple words to your partner. Let your partner understand you better as you explain to them the problem.

Upholding promises.

Commitments to your partner should be fulfilled by you. This is the base of trust you create with your partner for a healthy relationship. If you promise to do something or change your behavior for the better, try to keep up those promises. It is important that your partner trusts you to fulfill your commitments. And if you forget it, own up to it. But uphold the purity of pinky promises!

Two hands doing pinky promise against a pale pink wall

No distractions.

Give full attention when your partner does the same. No T.V or phone to steal your attention from the conversation your partner is trying to have. Concentrate on communicating your feelings properly to each other. Understand each other.

Do not run away from having these conversations. It is important to sort out your conflicts and not pretend to be okay until the other forgets.  They are someone you like to spend time with, why distract yourself from them?

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5 Steps For A Positive Self Image

A self-image is a personal view we have of ourselves. It is an ever-changing understanding of our strengths and weaknesses as perceived by us. These images can be positive or negative, reflecting how much we know about ourselves. Having a positive self-image is the basis of living happily. It goes beyond looking great in the mirror- it is about feeling good about yourself.

Self image mirror

Some days won’t be as good as others, and our self-image may take a beating, but this is when having a positive outlook on ourselves matter the most. It gives us the energy to get back up and try again to pursue our dreams and passions.

Fine-tune the understanding of a positive self-image with these 5 rules-

Acknowledge your efforts.

Ever achieve a goal but think it is all because of good luck or that the gods were blessing you then? That is a sign of not acknowledging your hard work put into attaining that goal. Notice your efforts and pat yourself on the back when you think you have given a task your all. Everyone with positive self-image practices this rule. Thanking yourself, gifting something to yourself, and treating yourself to your favorite activities and places are some of the small ways in which you can reward your grind.

Live in the present.

People with a positive self-image live in the present. The past is gone and nothing can be changed. The future is coming but remains unpredictable. The present is a fleeting moment of now. Focus on the now and be in the moment. It is in this way you will also find out how much you know about yourself. Chit-chat that is thought-provoking can lead you to form opinions about various subjects and help you back up your thought process. This will help you know yourself better and better your self-image.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present.”

Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda.

Be kind to yourself.

Being kind to yourself is never a bad idea. Take breaks when necessary, take time off from everything, and do what you want. Don’t beat yourself up over things that you cannot control. Kindness comes to you easily for others but not for yourself. Taking care of yourself is a ground-level practice to follow for a better, healthier life. When you are well taken care of, optimistic thoughts will come your way, and you will be kinder to others in the process as well. It will be tough to be kind, but it will be for the better.

Kindness

Be grateful.

When you start noting what you are thankful for, you realise how blessed you are. It improves your outlook on life and yourself. It makes you value not only your efforts but others’ hard work as well. You learn to respect people and this, in turn, helps you gain self-respect. Being grateful changes your perception of many things, helping you be closer to your best version. Little ‘thank yous’ and acts of kindness for the people you are grateful for will guide you to feel better about yourself.

grateful positive self image

Perfection is an illusion.

Perfectionism is a concept that rises from critical self-evaluation. It elucidates the fact that you are constantly monitoring your actions and thoughts for the flawless execution of tasks at hand. But it needs to be understood that perfection is a subjective concept. One’s meaning of perfect will be different from the other. Persistently supervising yourself can lead to an unnecessary build-up of stress and cause you to doubt yourself. Let yourself off the hook and focus on realistic goals that make you a better person. If your expectations are set high, you might be disappointed when the results are different. 

These are some rules followed by those confident people with a positive self-image. Remember that comparing yourself to others will also cause you to have self-doubt. Practicing the art of letting go will relieve you of the useless weight you might be carrying around. The 5 mentioned ways will aid you in forming the correct perception of yourself. 

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7 Positive Parenting Tips

Parenting is a process of raising children with comfort, care, and protection that ensures their healthy development into adulthood. There is the involvement of physical, emotional, social, and intellectual support. It refers to the intricacies of raising children, which is not limited to a biological relationship. There are different styles of parenting. Choosing a style of parenting shapes your child mentally, giving them character and nuances that either help them form better relations with people and excel at studies or worsen their behaviors and attitudes.

kind parenting

Positive parenting is an approach of raising kids that focuses on the good points of behavior. The foundation of this manner is that there are no bad children, only good or bad behaviors. The aim is to teach good behavior through kind and firm parenting.

Here are some effective ways of using the positive parenting approach.

1. The reason behind behaviors.

There is always a reason behind the actions and attitudes of your young ones. Try to understand why they are being the way they are and read between the lines. It might seem like a silly, small reason to us, and we might dismiss it but it might not be that small a deal for your child. If parents can address the cause directly, even if it is not all that the child was expecting, they will feel their needs acknowledged. When needs are acknowledged, the child gains the strength to let go and move on without misbehaving.

2. Be kind but firm.

Children learn by imitating others. As parents, you are their primary role model. Be kind to them to instill a sense of kindness and respect for others. When parents lash out when they are upset, it also teaches the child that that is the normal way of dealing with such feelings. It is how they will dish out their disappointing emotions too. Being kind helps children calm down, cooperate with you, and learn to handle their emotions with composure.

3. Being kind is not giving in.

Many parents think showing kindness is equal to indulging their children and pampering them too much. It is a misconception. Teaching your children what they can and can’t do is good but should be done appropriately. It should reflect kindness and firmness. Let your children understand that if a proper conversation is to take place, it should be done with composure and empathy. Screaming and shouting for their demands to be met will not get them anywhere.

4. Clarity and consistency.

Explain the consequences of violating limits set by you to your children in a clear way. Be consistent on your promises and follow them through. Not being consistent will lead to confusion and create a space for your child to frequently challenge the limits set to see what happens next.

5. Age-appropriate behaviour.

What may seem like misbehaviour to you, might be age-appropriate behaviour for your child. You need to understand that these kids are growing and will start to express themselves in a better way once they can grasp how. For example, tantrums in young ones are a given. It is because they do not know how to express their emotions properly yet. The part of the brain that helps in regulating feelings might not be as developed to organise them efficiently.

age appropriate behavior

6. Starting early.

Positive parenting can start as early as when the baby is a newborn. Attending and acknowledging your child’s cues start to make an impression on their minds. Be the person you should want your kid to be. Children pick up traits from their parents or those who surround them. The way you behave will reflect the way your child behaves. Happy kids are not born like that, they are nurtured into being one.

Patience

7. Patience.

Everything takes time. The results you want to see when you use this style of parenting will surface when the time comes. Be consistent in your efforts of encouraging and teaching your child good manners and behaviour that will eventually make them the person they will be. Being patient to know the results of your effort is never a bad idea.

Basic and proper communication will help you make changes in your parenting style as you find out what traits your child picks up. Learn to understand them and make sure to try your best to give your child a happy childhood that helps them develop their personality in the most beautiful way.

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How to Set Boundaries Unapologetically

For many, setting boundaries and saying no can be as tough as crafting a chair from scratch. The feeling of guilt is the most prominent when the need to deny something arises. The roots of this draining characteristic are embedded deep in the subtle unconscious actions that have settled in some old memories. Yes, it can be scary trying to take up space and set a limit for people, but it is a healthy practice. People can take advantage of this trait and ask you for the impossible. It is important to let them know that there is a limit to which you will understand them.

Here are some ways you can set boundaries unapologetically.

Transform your mindset for the better.

Believe in your self-worth and have the courage to take steps for what you hold true. Let go of the guilt to say no and change your opinion of yourself. Once you understand your own value and find it in you to respect yourself and your beliefs, your self-perception will change and grow for the better. It will help you set boundaries for what behavior you can accept and cannot accept.

Proper communication.

It can be hard to set boundaries with difficult people but with firm words and clear phrases you can tell them what makes you uncomfortable. There will be people you do not like for a particular trait. It is through the appropriate expression of what you feel, that will help improve others’ behavior towards you. When people understand you, they will see where you come from with your choices and know how to treat you.

no means no

Emphasize your boundaries.

Make sure you hold people accountable for their unjust actions towards you. If they cross boundaries, let them know. Don’t be manipulated by them to agree to their terms. Stand firm and voice your opinions and let them know your boundaries. It will be challenging for others, but it is a step towards being your own person.

Carrots and stick approach.

People love appreciation. Similar to how you teach a child what is good by giving them kisses and bad, by expressing your disappointment, rewarding people when they respect your boundaries is the way to reinforce how important it is for you. Rewards can change behaviours. Using the all-pervasive carrots and stick approach can be the way to remind them of the boundaries set.

Elastic boundaries.

It’s important to understand when it is okay to relax your boundaries a little and when not. Situations help you identify the correct way to go. Empathy plays a part here. When the feeling of empathy takes over, make sure not to let it make you forget your boundaries completely. Timing is the key.

love yourself

Patience.

It will take a while for people to accept your boundaries. Be persistent in the pursuit of self-respect. Don’t let time waver you in your efforts to change rude behaviors. People should respect each other’s space and limits, and there is nothing wrong with your demanding it from others around you. Practising patience with yourself to properly set boundaries will also help keep stress away. Patience will teach them and you the lesson of thoroughly thinking things through. Meditation and exercise is one way to sharpen this ability.

Rehearse.

Studies show people are more confident when they rehearse what they say beforehand. Practicing what to say when someone is overstepping your boundaries is one way to effectively ask them to reconsider their attitude towards you. Letting people know your thoughts with precise words that clearly express your opinion is made perfect through practice.

young female saying no

It will take time for you and your people to adjust to the new boundaries you set but once done, you will see how good they are for you. It will weed out people who don’t understand how important this is for you. Surrounding yourself with people who want to understand you and are capable of respecting your choices help you gain insight into yourself and improve your life. Self-respect and self-love come first, before anything else. Set those boundaries and never let anyone treat you unjustly.

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